The 305 Roster

MEET THE CREW

Four cats built this house. I'm Max — I keep the record, so you're getting the accurate version. Two of us still patrol the yard. Two of us watch it from wherever legends go.

Committee Org Chart

THE SIZE LADDER

MAX
MAURICE
ARTHUR

Max > Maurice > Arthur. Filed, ranked, and not up for debate.

Maximus
In Loving Memory
The Legend17 lbs of Maine CoonMississippi Flood Rescue

MAXIMUS

a.k.a. MAX · KEEPER OF THE RECORD

Big brown-black Maine Coon tabby, full mane, white chest ruff. Eyes: yellow-gold. Largest cat in the house, built for somewhere colder than Miami.

I watched that rat for two days. It never had a chance.
Records kept
all of them
Patience
measured
Naps
earned
Read Max's Full File

Seventeen pounds, full mane, a coat a shade cooler and darker than Maurice's — when I came into a room, the room adjusted. Not because I asked. Because that's how it works.

Born in Mississippi, carried out of a flood as a kitten, shipped to Florida. Six months old, a pet-store cage, a tag that read Mr. Boots. I did not keep the name. The day I came home I became Maximus, and the record has read that way ever since.

I ran hot my whole life — built for somewhere colder, stationed in Miami, so I worked the tile instead of anyone's lap. Affection was on my terms, rarely and briefly given. Late in life that eased, a little: ten minutes lying against somebody, a purr, sometimes asleep before the heat moved me along. That was as far as I'd go. It was enough.

I presided over Arthur and Maurice for years the way a patriarch does — by being there, not by making a case for it. In April 2026 I crossed over, seventeen years in. I'm still the one telling you what happened. That hasn't changed.

MAX IN FRAMES

I'm Max. We're the 305. We'll be here. 🐾

Maurice
Director of ChaosAlpha of the HouseZero Dry Food, Ever

MAURICE

THE CHAOS AGENT · DIRECTOR OF CHAOS

Warm cinnamon tabby, bold stripes, white muzzle, chest, and paws. Eyes: yellow-gold. Sturdy and athletic — middle of the household, bigger than Arthur, smaller than Max.

3:17 AM. No comment.
Breakfasts moved
1 (permanent)
Speed
unverified but claimed
Grievances filed against
many
Read Maurice's Full File

Maurice doesn't enter a room. He arrives at it, usually sideways, usually fast. Warm cinnamon stripes, white socks, a motor for a purr that starts before he's fully in the doorway.

He came in as a kitten with a defect that should have ended things early. It didn't, because somebody refused to accept that and found another way. What runs through him now is, in a real sense, a second draft. He doesn't know that. He just runs.

He's held the house and the yard since I stepped back, and he earned it honestly — mostly by outlasting everyone's patience, including mine. He knocks things over on the way to somewhere else. He is never, under any circumstances, given dry food — that rule is not up for negotiation, not even from him. He swats Arthur off the good blanket by day and can't sleep without him at night. Neither of them will ever admit the second part.

He wants two things: love and food, in whatever order gets there fastest. Everything else — the sprints, the noise, the 3 a.m. incidents — is just what that much wanting looks like from the outside.

MAURICE IN FRAMES

Arthur
Front Yard RescueBritish EnergyThe Judging Look

ARTHUR

THE GENTLEMAN · MINISTER OF DIGNITY

Gray short-hair with a white chest, white paws, and a white-tipped tail — solid gray face, no white on the muzzle, chin, or cheeks. Eyes: green. Smallest adult in the house — slim and refined, never a kitten.

I've reviewed the room. It will do, for now.
Territories annexed
the planter bed
Paperwork filed
none
Side-eye rating
terminal
Read Arthur's Full File

Arthur was born in a front yard planter bed during a downpour, one of four kittens with nowhere dry to go. Somebody came out in the rain and built them a shelter. He was the last of his litter still waiting on a home, so eventually he just walked into this one, like it had always been the plan.

He's the smallest adult in the house — gray short-hair, white chest and paws, green eyes that do a lot of judging for their size. Smallest doesn't mean small. He's never once acted like a kitten, and he'd like that on the record.

He runs a one-cat campaign for everyone's affection and does not read a hint as a reason to stop. He's spooked by anything new and needs convincing to change rooms, but corner him with kindness and he melts — a slow blink, a full-body flop, the works. Rejection doesn't register as a reason to stop trying. It just doesn't compute.

Mostly, though, he judges. The stare, the slow blink, the four-feet-to-the-left relocation when something fails to meet his standard. He's not aloof. He's keeping minutes.

ARTHUR IN FRAMES

Legacy Crew

Four cats built this house. Two of them are downstairs right now, causing a scene. One of them is up here, still telling you about it. And one got here before any of us — his file lives on its own page.

The Legend · The First Cat

BENJAMIN

2009 – 2018 · Flashback Only

Russian-Blue gray, one white toe on the left foot, a raspy voice he was never shy about using. First cat in the house — before Max, before anyone. He ran the lap policy: every lap in the building was his, guests included. He doesn't appear in present-day stories — when he shows up, it's always a memory.

“He got here first. He'd want that on the record.” — Max

THE 305 TOGETHER

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